22 March 18 – Settling back into home after coming back from India

Now that I’ve had time to settle in and reflect on my trip and catch up with some people…I’ve had time to realise how I feel about coming home.

It’s hard for me to put into words, but I feel sad. I have this classic description of post-holiday depression. Everything here seems so colourless and lifeless, like nothing is going on. Things are the same here, but nothing feels the same for me. I am tired of being here.

Maybe I am being extremely selfish right now, or my head isn’t working properly because I am sick with Dehli Belly but I am even finding it hard to take interest in other peoples’ lives when I talk to them. I am truly focused on me at the moment.

It is sad to say but I feel like I’ve completely lost motivation to do everything in reality – everything just seems too hard. Despite all the years of effort I have placed into getting to where I am, I just don’t want to be here anymore. Now that I’ve had a taste of traveling alone…I just want more! And I’ve already started planning where and when I will be going next, and India will probably be my stopover on the way to Europe.

But what have I gained from all this sadness? Perspective on what I like, love, what is most important to me, and who I am, as well as what I am capable of. And I never knew I could have this burning desire to return back to India so badly after coming back. I am not 100% sure if I will return as nothing is certain in life but I am 100% sure that I want to make it happen.

I am not going to lie…I was s*** scared before going, but now I know that the world isn’t such a scary place, especially when it is unknown, and that you should just push yourself outside your comfort zone to see how far you can go (and then naturally grow as a person)

So if you are sitting on the fence as to whether you should go to India? My answer for you is YES. Despite all the ‘dangers’, there is so much you gain from going on a trip like this. If crowded roads, unsanitary water and food and constant noise and pollution is not for you, I firmly believe that you should still go because the country really opens your eyes and makes you appreciate what you have, especially if you come from a developed country.

I certainly didn’t know that I appreciated not having to worry about whether a stranger’s kindness was fake and things like drinking tap water so much until I went to India.

 

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